Life In 79

On waking at 4.30am, I was confused; my surroundings weren't familiar and why was a light aircraft landing near my head? Was I back in 'Nam? No... I was in our living room, on the sofa. Had Anna, my wife, and I had a drunken argument and I had been forced to relocate to the sofa, to think about what I'd done? No, I noticed her on the other sofa.  Then the fog cleared and I remembered; our bedroom was so hot last night, we had both decamped downstairs. I peeled myself from the sofa and turned the fan, that was blowing churned up warm air into my face, off. It had been 41 degrees yesterday, 41 the day before yesterday, it was going to be 41 today and tomorrow... then, thankfully, it would drop to a balmy 39...and it was only June! I love a sunny day as much as the next fella, but I didn't sign up for this. Jeez. Our bedroom was like an oven, and I was the sausage roll, oozing fatty fluids as I basted in my own juices. I took a sip of tepid water to try and lube the tubes....

It took me by surprise, when Anna, my wife, announced we were spending a weekend away in the south. She'd booked an Airbnb and we were off for a romantic weekend; rekindling the flame. We've visited some wonderful places in southern France, Villefranche, Nice, Cannes...no, no, my wife interrupted, not the south of the country, the south of the Deux-Sèvres. Well, that threw the cat amongst the pigeons. Trying to hide my disappointment, I was given three guesses...after, about 40 minutes, she told me. I'm going to be honest, this was not in my top-ten places to visit before I die. Where (I hear you ask), was this holiday destination? Have a guess, dear reader...no,...no,...nooo...okay, I'll give you a clue, it begins with an 'R'...no,...no...it begins with an 'R' and ends in with a 'uffec'. RUFFEC! We were going to spend 24 hours in Ruffec! That was my reaction too.  A few years ago Anna fell asleep at the wheel, drove into a ditch, hit a tree, wro...