Wish You Were Here

You wouldn't have the Deux-Sèvres down as a holiday destination in February; “Come to the Deux-Sèvres, slop about in the mud, enjoy the flooding and marvel at the high river levels, watch a farmer chop a hedge”. But February, it appears, is the new August. We had a busy old month welcoming friends and family to our soggy part of France. 

It meant that our New Year's resolutions were blown out of the water as Anna, my wife, and I took the opportunity to eat and drink to excess. 

But where to go and what to do when the weather is rubbish and everything's shut? My brother had to use up some annual leave so popped over for a few days. He is very easily pleased; he gets excited when we take him to a French supermarket, wandering around the aisles like a small child oohing and ahhing at the goodies on offer... buying a lump of pâté to remind himself of the day ...asking if he can have his photo taken near the fish counter. 

The only thing better than a supermarket for my brother is a church. He's never happier than when he's meandering around a musty, damp old church, preferably with information boards about its history. He's not religious, so I don't really know why he enjoys it so much. The only thing better than a church, is a church with a relic.

We visited a local church, which has been dedicated to a French missionary named Théophane Vénard who was beheaded in China in 1861(there is a massive tapestry of his execution hanging behind the organ... I think the church is missing a trick by not flogging postcards of the decapitation at the front door). Near a side altar there is not one, but two glass boxes, full of Théophane's relics, including a bone and a pair of his chopsticks. Well, to my brother it was like going on Nemisis at Alton Towers, we couldn't get him out of the place. 

Sprinkle a few big meals into the mix, plenty of wine and we had a thoroughly enjoyable time.

Even though Anna and I have lived in the Deux-Sèvres for ten years there are three tourist destinations we haven't been to (despite being told by everyone how fantastic they are): Puy du Fou, Futuroscope and Doué la Fontaine zoo. I think the main reason for this is they all involve a hefty financial layout and I'm quite tight and would always opt for a free church. But when my son, daughter-in-law and 18-month-old granddaughter popped over we thought we'd take the hit and go to the zoo. 

Now I know zoos are controversial places, and people have differing views on animals being kept in captivity, but this was February, people, and the other two places were shut. Doué la Fontaine zoo, in the north of the department, resides in an old quarry, so the animals have generous habitats and on the whole seemed content, apart from one leopard who was doing that horrible pacing up and down thing.

On entry the first thing you come face to face with is the giraffe enclosure, and as they are in the quarry and you are above them, you are literally face to face. There are about ten of these elegant creatures roaming about... the Jurassic Park theme tune kept popping into my head.

As zoos go it was top-notch, with an amazing range of animals including massive snakes, massive bats and a massive bird enclosure. We happened to be passing through when it was feeding time, which if you have a bird phobia, I don't recommend; I've never seen such an array of multicoloured birds of all shapes and sizes descend on drainpipes filled with a mixture of seeds, nuts and rotting apples. 

Some establishments pass themselves off as zoos, but a couple of chickens and a goat doth not a zoo make to my mind. At Doué we were there for several hours and still didn't see everything... and being France we appeared to be the only visitors, even though it was half term (where do the French keep their children?). 

On Anna's spread sheet of places to go and see in the Deux-Sèvres, Doué la Fontaine Zoo was placed in the top ten, even the bird-of-paradise pooping on my head didn't mar what was a wonderful family day out.