'The DSM' Editorial - Issue 106 Pranging the Van


Booking a table at a restaurant, buying a cup of coffee, or delivering a pre-rehearsed speech at Franglais is one thing (for those of us who struggle with the language). But when a situation comes at you from out of the blue it is a different matter. So when I was reversing out of a busy market square I had no business being in, in the first place, and hit a mobile charcuterie van and damaged his rear indicator, I reached for Michel Thomas (the French gentlemen from the language CDs), but Michel wasn’t there!

He was a big chap (the van owner, not Michel) and quite angry, rightly so; one minute he was bagging up some pâté and the next minute his whole mobile meat wagon was rocked...literally. I kept repeating how sorry I was as he picked up the plastic casing of his reversing light from the car park. He went into a controlled tirade and all I could say was ‘I’m English, I don’t understand, but am very, very sorry’. 

I have spoken of the ‘French stare’ before in this publication, but it is nothing to what I experienced then. A ‘communal French stare’. Everyone in the market, people coming out of shops and queuers at a nearby bus stop were looking at the pathetic Englishman (no longer a member of the European Union), trying to string a sentence together. Pathetic!

After passing on my details I left the scene of the crime, feeling ashamed at my lack of progress and inability to learn the language, which I have been trying to get to grips with for several years now. Experiencing a different culture and language can be a wonderful thing, but there are times when it can be very frustrating and a little scary. Oh how I wish I had paid more attention in my French lessons at school!

Hopefully, by the time you read this the weather will have cheered up. I have just seen a cluster of flowering daffodils in the garden, which gave me a warm tingle. Have a good March and we hope you enjoy this month’s issue.

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