To The Manner Born - 'The DSM'

At the end of the weekly shop, with all the provisions packed and paid for we always hear ‘bonne journée’ followed by a cheery ‘au revoir’ from the French cashier. We enthusiastically reciprocate and leave the shop knowing that everything is good with the world. And this seems to be the case across the board, whichever supermarket we're in, Hyper U, Leclerc, Carrefour or Lidl. In a British supermarket, you might receive a 'bye', 'see ya' or just a grunt as you manhandle your trolley out of the shop.

And yet on the road the French become a different creature altogether. As you pull over to let the oncoming car pass, is there a wave, nod, lift of the finger in acknowledgement of your generous act? Nothing! They drive past as if you're not even there. 'Well, don't say thank you'. The British, on the other hand, when behind the wheel love to nod, wink, wave or flash the lights at any opportunity. If you are driving down a country lane in France and meet a vehicle, what are the chances of them pulling over and letting you pass. My experience is they will continue at the same speed, maybe even speed up slightly, in the middle of the road and you will be forced to swerve into a ditch to avoid them. 

When doing my utmost to stay within the speed limit on the lovely, spacious French roads someone will drive right up behind me and stay there, like a limpet, ever present in my rear view mirror. Even when the road goes into two lanes, 'they will not pass', but hover around my exhaust pipe making me feel uneasy. What happened to all that bonhomie in the Intermarché? Do the friendly cashiers of France become different creatures behind the wheel of a car or do they not live in my neck of the woods.

But take them out of the car and they return to their friendly selves. When one enters a room of strangers a chorus of 'bonjour' will be heard. A friend said they were sitting in a hospital waiting room when three pompiers arrived pushing some poor soul on a stretcher. Each proffered a 'bonjour' as they passed, even the person on the stretcher lifted their head and wheezed 'bonjour'. In the UK if you go around saying ‘hello’ to people you are thought to be mad. Even eye contact with other people can be seen as OTT.

Which leads on to the French stare. I was told it's rude to stare, not so if you live in France. In France it is an art form. As you drive past, people will stop what they are doing and give you the most withering look. Even when you look in your rear view mirror they are still staring and will do so, until you round the bend. At first I thought it might be because I was driving a right hand drive vehicle, until I drove a left handed vehicle and the looks kept coming. The child in me wants to throw an exaggerated stare back, but I remind myself it is just a cultural thing.

Returning to where I started ...at a French supermarket. My wife and I were about to enter a supermarket and a French gentleman kindly stopped and held the door open. My wife slightly sped up, so the man wasn't kept waiting, missed her footing and ended up sprawling on the floor. Rather than helping my wife he continued holding the door. I helped her to her feet and picked her bag off the floor, then we quickly bustled into the supermarket so as not to keep the gentleman waiting, as we did so I gave him a nod and thank you. He stared back.